The Benefits of Tickling
by Your Silver Lining
Summary: In which Mello and Matt do stuff that leads to a very awkward misunderstanding, Near discovers his masochistic tendencies, a riot breaks out among the children, a suspicious breakfast food is questioned and Rodger misses the old days. Matt x Mello x Near


_**The Benefits of Tickling  
**_

**Genre: **Humor/Romance

**Pairing:** Matt x Mello x Near (hehe, that's in descending order of appearance in the manga…incase you noticed as well)

**Warnings:** Uh…the usual. Language, OOC, lime-ish, crack, also know that this _is_ rated T but shouldn't be read by the faint of heart. So if you're a raging hormonal fourteen-year-old who doesn't give a damn about warnings (haha, like me) then by all means go ahead.

**FTOYWGAD:** Who likes being tickled? *sees hands raise* Now who _really_ likes being tickled? And this time be honest. *sees hands drop down* Yeah, that's what I thought. I don't know about you guys but personally, The Tickle Monster should go into a graveyard in Romania, dig a hole, cut itself into tiny little pieces, shove the pieces down the hole, get someone to bury it and stay there for the rest of space and time. Yeah. I know what you're thinking, 'ah, tickling is not all that bad, come on, Silver' and I agree. _At first_ it's harmless…but then it gets brutal and involves a kick to the groin to stop the person who's tickling you. (Leo, if you're reading this, sorry but when I say 'stop' I mean stop dammit! They're my safe words…ya know, like in Doms/subs? Hehe…no…)

Also, for those of you who read my other story 'Twist': I'll do a request story for whomever figures out the reoccurring pattern with my OCs in that fic.

**Disclaimer:** I just realized that his is my first threesome couple ever…but it's when they're children. And how does a three-way work anyway? I mean, all my life I've been taught that sex is supposed to be between two people and it made sense at the time. (keep in mind that this was before the sinful nature of FanFiction and my introduction to threesomes and all that stuff) Because it was like puzzle pieces, you know? Just shove the one with the thing jutting out into the hole. But in pairings like these, where does the extra jutting out thing go? Worse what happens to its hole? Ahhhh! The horror! It's so depressing that that one hole will go unsatisfied…T.T…

Oh yeah, I also don't own Death Note.

**Dedication:** Leo, this is an apology for kicking you where the sun never shines when I told you to freaking stop _tickling me! _Then again, the sun shines there when you wake up in all your naked glory and I have to shield my eyes so they don't melt off my sockets…xD Kidding, kidding.

Also, Happy New Year! Consider this a present for the holidays. ^^

Well, that's all. I know you're itching for this sentence to end already so you can read the story; if you even got this far, I applaud you.

Enjoy!

* * *

_(Mello and Matt's Room in The Wammy House)_

It had been a long hard day for the most hormonal boys in The Wammy House. Not only were they both tired and exhausted from the workload they'd been given for the winter vacation, but they'd finished a week's worth of homework in less than a day. At noon, they were both so frustrated and irked that they were ready to shoot an innocent squirrel if it got in their way. One may ask them 'why in the world would you put yourselves through such torture of the homework kind?' And they would probably reply with giving you the finger and then proceeding to do other illegal things that could involve but are not limited to water bottles, the _Twilight_ series, whipped cream and a dildo. But the real answer would be that the boys really didn't want to spend the rest of their vacation doing such a tedious task. They wanted to go outside and run around in the snow until they caught frostbite and had to sleep naked in under the same blankets to keep warm.

Alas, God decided the second after they finished their last equation that he hated humans and zipped open the coat of clouds to reveal the blue skies that should be banned in the time of winter. When the sun peeked his unfortunate head onto the magical white blanket of snow that had settled upon the Winchester area, both boys wasted no time running outside, ignoring the hollow threats coming from Rodger's decaying mouth, and screaming bloody murder at the sky. After they were both pulled inside by force and were chastised for longer than they would have liked, they finally lay in their respective beds staring outside where the sun, now with a bruised ego, melted the snow.

Matt, recovering from the disappointment quicker than his blonde counterpart, opened his Nintendo DS. Strategies on how to defeat Brower and save Princess Peach already formulating in his mind, he eagerly picked up his stylus and continued to stab at the screen.

Before he could get any further, a hard, round surface bounced off of his head and landed on his lap. Matt stared at the putrid looking sock in front of him. It looked as if it had been through feet and feet of sewage. He winced when he realized that it was his sock and glared at his friend who seemed to be the culprit.

"What the hell, Mels?"

"You know that once you start playing that thing, you won't let go until I threaten you with a knife."

Matt rolled his eyes, rubbing at the sore spot where the blonde hat hurt him.

"Besides, how could you play when the snow outside is melting?" Mello asked in a voice tainted with wistfulness and anger.

"Mels, I'm playing _because_ there's no snow," Matt replied airily, "sometimes, you just gotta let go."

Mello's eyes flashed and Matt immediately knew to shut up. He knew he'd stepped one foot too far out of line. And to be frank, Matt thought the line should just crush into a little dot and erase itself. Nonetheless, he knew the line existed and he internally spanked himself – half his mind thinking of how sexy that was and made a mental note to keep that in mind then next time he masturbated – for stepping out of it. If there was one universal rule to the Mello Handbook, it was that everyone cleared way when the boy's eyes flashed like that. No matter what anyone says, it never results well.

The first sign was when the boy started talking, more so than usual.

"You know I'm beginning to think that you don't appreciate me as much as you should. We do everything together; pull pranks, hurt Near, scare children, hurt Near, EVERYTHING! So are you saying that when you get tired of all this, you're going to 'let go' of me as well?"

The second sign was not-so-subtle-repetition.

"Is that what you think, huh? Let go? Huh? Are you thinking that? You want to let go? Letting go is what you're thinking of? Huh?"

Check.

The last and final sign was the physical contact itself.

The blonde got up from his slumped position on his bed and sauntered over to Matt, murder in his eyes. At that moment, Matt really wanted to extinguish the sun. If the snow hadn't melted, none of this would have happened.

When he was within touching distance from the blonde, he saw him raise his fist. Even though Matt was younger than Mello, he was still the bigger person. The only reason he let the other boy treat him like his bitch was because he had no motivation to _not_ do so. However, when it came to defending himself, there were no restraints. The redhead automatically caught the Impending Fist of Doom and did what any sane person would do in that situation: he began tickling his assailant.

Since it had been months, maybe years, since Matt had tickled Mello, it was of no surprise that he was caught off guard. It was a defense mechanism so rare and it took such skill that only very few people have mastered the art. Matt was one of them. Having his fingers trained by the hardcore labor of pressing buttons on a console repetitively, finding the right spots to wiggle his fingers on his friend body came easily to him.

When Matt's fingers shot out to Mello's sides, the boy's eyes – which now lost the murderous look – shone with anguish and surprise as he saw what was about to happen. He immediately began laughing, giggling and, the ever so gracious, snorting like a pig for all it was worth.

Matt, enjoying the sight before him, found other places to tickle as he pushed his friend onto the bed. Fingers found the nape of his neck, emitting a squeak. Thighs were brushed against as the blonde tried to defend himself from the attack by falling into a fetal position.

"Matt!" Mello half screamed over his own girlish giggles. "Nnngggg, God!"

Matt smirked. "You shouldn't have threatened me then Mels. See what happened? Now I have to punish you."

Mello tried to glare at this friend, but only failed as another onslaught of tickling enveloped him. Feeling the end drawing near the childish act, Mello tried to escape grabbing the covers. The redhead just held on to Mello even harder and the covers…well…uh – covered them.

* * *

_(Near's Room at the Wammy House)_

Contrary to popular belief, Near never liked homework. Or work for that matter. However, it had just occurred to him that he may have given the wrong impression that he did like it because in class that day, his teacher had promised him extra work for the winter break. Now Near was never a violent child, but at that moment he never wanted to snap anything else like that teacher's neck.

He stared blankly at the Mount Everest of Logarithms, the Great Wall of Research Articles, and the Leaning Tower of Text Books which he'd hoped with all his heart (or how much of it was left) would topple over and crush him giving him an excuse to not doing the work at all.

Alas, all the cleverly designed architectural structures decided to stay in tact and Near began to get to work. The white haired boy stood up from his crouching position in his happy place, which also happened to be the place where he kept all his toys and puzzles, and made his way over to the academic side of his room.

Just when he was about to start with a fresh new feeling of determination taking over his body to finish the work as soon as he could so he could resume playing, a knock was heard on his plain white door.

"Near, Rodger wants to see you in his office!" Linda, the epitome of all that is annoying and evil, said.

Near frowned in distaste at the girl's voice wishing she would leave the premises of his room. Seeing no reaction on the other side, he whispered, "I'll be there."

"Okay," the shrill voice was heard again, "see you!"

And Near tried not to gag at the fake sweetness of her voice. In fact, the boy never liked the voice of any of the residents of the Wammy House. No, dislike was too strong of a word. He felt a deep, passionate, burning indifference towards all of them. All except for one blonde boy. Two if you counted his bitch.

Near shook his head at the thoughts and forced himself to regain his blank composure and stepped out of his door, wondering when Rodger would stop summoning him to his office and die of AIDS. Or something like that.

When he reached his office, he heard a gruff "come in" indicating that knocking on the door would be futile. Stepping into the room covered in the familiar décor and the one picture of Quillish Wammy sitting on the desk of the man who could easily be deemed his lover, Near sighed at how similar it was to his. The entire room was void of normal decorations and instead was just a hollow room with awkwardly placed bookshelves and chairs. Near made a mental note to revamp his room. He did _not_ wish to be like Rodger when he grew up.

Speaking of the man who could have been the Grinch's twin brother, Rodger smiled at Near from his sitting position on his fluffy chair.

"Good afternoon, Near."

Near nodded, deeming the man unworthy of his greetings.

"Did you have a pleasant morning?"

Near thought of the breakfast he was served earlier that day and how the cook, Blanca, said that it was _supposed_ to move. Then he thought of how close he had come to Mello's stink bomb that was discreetly placed in the toilet bowl of his bathroom. Then again, there was the point where he felt his blood boiling and thought of how he could turn into a green superhuman and kill his teacher for assigning him more work than the other children.

"It went fairly well," the pale boy summed it up. He wanted to narrow his eyes at Rodger's shady behavior. Normally, the man would get straight to the point.

"I want you to check in on Mello and Matt in their room, Near."

There it was.

"The boys recently got into trouble for almost getting into a fist fight with the sun," Rodger explained as Near almost, _almost_ smiled thinking that only Mello could accomplish the task. "They've been sent to their room and quite frankly, I don't trust them on their own."

Seeing where it was going Near tried to reason with the man. Then again, it would give him a reason to see the two people who came the closest to being his favorite people of the entire institution. Even though they try to kill him most of the time. Gods, his imaginary mother was right. He really was a masochistic, hormone-deprived, self-conflicting confused little bastard.

"Alright." Nevertheless, he learned to take advantage of the little things.

"Very well, report back to me as soon as you can."

Near nodded once again and walked out of the room happy to be out of the place that smelled too much like old people. He walked across the Common Room seeing screeching and playing. The older kids were silently reading at the library or doing the winter break homework like him. One of the younger kids tripped on his way to the trashcan and spilled his breakfast all over an older student. (Near silently applauded the kid for even holding the monstrosity that their cook had called food.) Expecting the bigger one to hurt the little kid, Near stood and watched wondering if that was what he looked like to the other children when Mello beat him senselessly.

_Masochist!_ A little voice in his head said.

Instead of hurting the child, the older one grabbed the moving substance from his shirt and with out delay, shoved it down the throat of the kid. Tears streamed down the child's face as various groups egged the boy on. Arms flailed helplessly as the breakfast tried crawling back up the throat, just as unhappy as the kid to be eaten, only to be shoved back in. Walking away, Near wondered what he had reduced himself to by still staying at the Wammy House.

Silently padding down the halls, thankful for his sock-clad feet, Near made his way into the crevices of the dormitory section of the building. He got quieter and quieter as he neared the boys' room.

When he was close enough to the door to open it and ask the boys what they were doing (which was what he _should_ do), he pressed his ear against the door.

Eavesdropping? What eavesdropping?

The boy shuddered at the thought about the consequences if Mello found out about what he was doing.

_Masochist!_

Maybe if he –

"_Matt!...Nnngggg, God!"_

Near froze. Wasn't that…Mello's voice?

Gigglges

_"…Now I have to punish you."_

Matt?

Before he even realized it, Near's face was dusted with a faint blush. Not even thinking, which was extremely rare for the boy, he opened the door just a fraction. Well, he didn't see anything actually. But he covers…they were moving! Back and forth, and sometimes they even spasmed.

The white-haired boy sucked in a breath and flushed, thinking that the heater should be lowered.

As soon as he came, he rushed away from the room, stopping only to catch his breath. In his mind, there were only two questions:

1. Why did he want to keep watching them?  
2. Since when had his pants gotten too tight?

Near waited until he knew he looked presentable, and walked waveringly to Rodger's office once again.

Upon entering, Rodger snapped his head back up and stared at Near, eyes wide. The boy eyed him warily as the elder man adjusted his trousers and the picture of Wammy on his desk. Convincing himself that he didn't want to know, he waited for the man to speak.

"Well, that was rather fast," the man said.

"Yes," Near replied bluntly.

"Well, what are the boys doing?"

"Each other."

Rodger smiled at first. Then he sputtered and stared at Near.

"Excuse me?"

Near just stared.

"Near, what _exactly _were the boys doing?"

"Putting bunnies to shame, sir."

Rodger, seeing what the boy was trying to say, composed himself and dismissed him, much to Near's relief.

The boy walked past the slowly increasing riot that was going on in the Common Room as various items, most of them including toxic waste, this place called food, were thrown around. He walked back into his room, promising himself that he would never come out until he was eighteen or scientists found a way for humans to skip puberty.

* * *

_(Mello and Matt's Room in The Wammy House)_

"Matt, I mean it, stop!" Mello protested, as he was tickled mercilessly. "I can't breathe!"

Matt ignored the blonde, seeming like a tickling machine gone wild.

"I'm gonna puke, MATT!" Mello got out of bed and kicked wildly, hoping one of them would land on Matt. And one, in fact, did. But it ended up in the one place any male would guard with their lives.

"FUUUUUUUCCKK!"

The curse resonated throughout the room and Matt clutched his groin, Mello's foot not far away. The redhead doubled over, obviously in pain. After understanding what he'd done and catching his breath after the barrage of tickling, Mello immediately went to his friend's side. Mello was the sort of person who didn't bullshit around but even he knew that kicking another man in the crotch was unforgivable.

"Aw, shit, Matt, I'm so sorry," Mello put one of his hands on the other's back, his mind completely away from the snow, the sun, 'letting go,' or even the tickling.

Matt just groaned. The boy was really just in deep pain. Not where his blonde friend thought he was but just in the inside of his thighs. But that didn't mean he couldn't milk this for all that it was worth. "Oooooh, it huurrrts!" He whined.

Mello repeated his apology, running his hands down the other's back. He asked if there was anything he could do.

Matt knew he had him in. "Well, a kiss might make it better."

Mello was taken aback for a moment. "Matt, you're such a pervert!"

"Well, you promised."

The blonde rolled his eyes. "Fine."

The blonde leaned into the other, grabbing his head. He felt Matt wrap his arms around his waist, the pain in his groin totally forgotten.

_Bastard!_ Mello thought realizing that he'd just been played.

He fisted the red hair, pulling back to show him that he was a little angry. Matt just growled into the mouth probably liking the roughness. Before the gamer got carried away and pushed the blonde onto the bed, Mello pulled away.

"Son of a bitch, your fine!" He shouted.

Matt smirked. "Baby, I'm more than fine. I'm on _fiya_!"

The black-clad boy chased his friend around, yelling about how unfair it all was. In the end both boys collapsed on Matt's bed, heaving at their activities that involved kissing and groping that only hormone-ridden teenagers could muster.

"Hey, Matt?" Mello asked, turning to face his friend. (or maybe more than friend depending on the circumstances)

"Hmmm?" The redhead hummed against Mello's soft, hair.

"D'ya think Near's ticklish?"

One would think Matt would be a little jealous that his friend would think about the pale boy at a time like this, but it was quite the contrary. He knew ever since he had met Mello that he was obsessed with the child. Yeah, at first it annoyed him but he learned that there was no way around the fact that both boys were inevitably drawn to each other. In fact he actually liked the boy and was secretly plotting ways Mello and he could settle their differences. "Well, we won't know until we find out, will we?"

Mello giggled maniacally. "Just imagine how embarrassed he would be!" Another twisted giggle.

Sometimes Matt worried for his friend.

* * *

_(Near's Room at the Wammy House)_

When Near was back in his white room, his _problem_ was still not gone. He stared at his groin willing the swelling and the uncomfortable to go away. For a moment he actually believed that if he stared at it long enough and with enough intensity, it would go away. Alas, no avail.

"Go away," he said out hoping that maybe, just maybe, the force of his voice and willpower would make it go away.

Again no reaction.

So Near did the only thing a genius could do. He tried to make sense of the problem scientifically. If he ended up that way by looking at Mello and Matt doing their…activities and it was more attractive and alluring than he would have liked it to be. So it would only make sense that if he thought of something so totally repulsive that he would never get an erection again.

_Rodger in a thong, Rodger in a thong…_ He chanted the mantra again and again in his head.

He felt himself relax and felt a little jump from his belly, almost feeling his food come back up at the thought. Satisfied wit the progress, he set to go back to work.

If only he watched where he went and didn't trip over a pair of socks causing a chain reaction.

The boy found himself at a loss when all of his homework eventually did topple and ruin his floor. Not only that, but he had to waste half an hour trying to place everything in it's respective subject. Smiling at his handiwork, he looked over at Megatron for approval. When all he received was a blank stare, he smiled even wider, controlling the urge to laugh maniacally.

He tiptoed over to the math section ready to attack equations when another knock was heard on the other end. He swore that one day he was going to snap Roger's neck as well. Then he'd bring him back to life and then he'd do it again.

Instead of responding, he continued writing hoping that whoever was at his door would leave. For a while nothing happened. Then his door was kicked open and in a flash of yellow and red, the miniature, academic wonders of the world collapsed yet again, much to Near's dismay. Paper flew everywhere and Near didn't know what to say to the taller and older kids that stood in front of him.

"Hey Near," Mello said, drawing it out, his usual sneer gone from his face. He thought he looked better with it off.

"What's up, short stuff?" Matt asked circling him.

Near couldn't help but feel like a deer between two lions. Before he even had time to think of what horrible things they could have done to him, Matt pushed him from behind and he fell into Mello's chest sending him both on his white bed. They both landed with an 'oof.'

"What the hell, Matt?"

"Don't 'what the hell' me, start tickling!"

Near had no time to register what was happening and he was pushed into the bed harshly as the two boys towered over him.

_NO!_ He'd just gotten rid of it and now it's back.

He really needed bigger pants. Shouldn't they be in their room having crazy, angry kid-sex anyway?

Fingers shot out as four hands began to attack him…or so he thought.

It was quite a sight really. Near just lay on the bed awkwardly, as both boys furiously made quick work of their fingers trying their best to emit any humiliating sounds from the sheepish boy. It was painful to watch.

"Uh…" Near started weakly, "I'm sorry to disappoint, but I'm not ticklish."

The boy must have been a fool to think that that would stop them. The boys continued their ministrations for five minutes until Mello stopped. Matt soon followed.

"You know what I think Matt?" Mello asked seriously.

"Yeah, Mels?"

"I'm beginning to think that this twerp may not be ticklish."

Matt gasped. "Noooo!"

"Yesss!"

"Oh my god."

"I know."

…

Silence.

Near was about to ask them to get off his person, when he noticed the evil glint in their eyes. They both shared a knowing look and all of a sudden he felt nervous and excited all over.

_Masochist!_

"Ready Matt?"

"After you, Mello."

Just when the boy thought it couldn't get any worse, both boys had another evil glint in their eye that made his lower parts twitch. Near should be screaming for help about what the boys were about to do. And he did. He opened his mouth to scream when another one latched itself on to it. He tasted an overpowering taste of chocolate and wrote it off as Mello's mouth.

He felt hands roaming all over his body eliciting soft noises and pants from the youngest boy's mouth. Oh, the humiliation. For a moment everything stopped and that gave Near a chance to look at his attackers.

Matt raised his brow in question and Near just stared at him. Was he asking permission?

Mello, not waiting for an answer, just attacked Near again. Near let out an embarrassing squeak.

Then something occurred to the boy. They were doing so fine on their own, why did they come to him? Was he just some sort of tool?

"Shouldn't you be doing this with each other in your room?" Near asked, voicing his thoughts.

Mello stared at his prey curiously. "What?"

"You were...earlier today..." Near trailed off.

It dawned on Mello and Matt about what he was talking about. Matt couldn't help but think of how adorable the boy was feeling left out. Mello, however, had other plans.

"You _eavesdropped?_" Mello asked furiously, still straddling the boy.

Near gave a small wince at his mistake. Why did he just do that?

"You know I'm going to have to punish you for that, right Matt?" Mello said, saucily. Matt just smiled, happy that his two favorite people in the world were finally making some progress.

Why did Near feel even more excited?

_Masochist!_

The boys continued their ministrations and Near couldn't help but wonder how all of this came about. He forgot about the present for a moment and for the first time in his life, he 'let go.' Matt would be proud.

He closed his eyes, whether it was to shut everything out or to enhance the tingling all over his body, he didn't know. But he sure as hell wasn't going to stop them.

* * *

_(Mello and Matt's Room in The Wammy House)_

"MELLO, MATT! I HAVE STRICT RULES ABOUT SEX AND DRUGS IN THIS INSTITUTION!" Rodger roared into the room passing two boys who greeted them with their weed.

"Oh, good morning boys, could you please help down below, there's a riot going on."

Both boys, excited by the riot, hurried to the Common Room. When Rodger opened the door fully expecting child porn, he was a little disappointed to find an empty room with sheets strewn around.

He sighed and went back into his office, depressed and completely ignoring the still choking boy trapped in the riot that can only be produced by the future Ls.

"Oh, Wammy, I miss our days," he murmured as he picked up the picture frame and dropped his pants.

* * *

_(Near's Room at the Wammy House)_

Matt, Mello and Near lay in a bed, rather squished but warm nonetheless. Near's eyes were closed, mouth slightly parted. His shirt's buttons were all open revealing a frail white chest. His pants were rumpled and his head lay in the slim chest of Mello. The boy tried to conjure up disgust at the sight before him but the blonde couldn't do it. Instead he relaxed into Matt's arm around his waist.

"This is kind of weird," Matt said to no one.

Near murmured in agreement, showing that he wasn't asleep yet. Mello didn't speak, embarrassed by the whole situation.

A comfortable silence filled the room.

"You know you're going to have to help me organize this mess if you want to continue this right?" Near asked in a soft voice, laced with slight venom at the threat. He still had all his homework to do. Pure exhaustion took over him and he couldn't even produce the slightest of anger at the boys for distracting him from his studies. At least his _problem_ was taken care of.

Mello stared at him incredulously and Matt stared in disbelief. It shouldn't come as a surprise that Near would threaten them with such things.

Tickling sucked but if it always resulted to things like what happened in the past few hours, he wouldn't mind it at all.

* * *

**FTOYWAD: **Wow…absolutely no plot whatsoever! And the kissing and shounen-ai part was painful to write. I don't think I'm ready for more than two people stuff yet...Please don't laugh at my epic failure at this pairing. T.T

And I just used the word 'saucily.' Kill me now.

And so I don't get sued, I got inspired to write the tickling scene by a mixture of personal experience (coughthat'syouLeocough) and Dane Cook's take on it. Here's a snippet:

"You know what I hate, the one thing I hated growing up more than anything else. I hated being tickled. Tickling is the worst. 'Cause it started off fun- right haha lets tickle start out fun ended horribly. Didn't it always escalate the same way first you be like "Hahahahaa, COME ON! Hahahaha, I CAN'T BREATHE! I CAN'T BREATHE! CUT IT OUT! STOP IT! I'M GONNA THROW UP!" And they couldn't stop they were like, "Hahaha, I DON"T CARE!" I had to punch my grandmother in the chest to get her off me"

A genius man he is, Dane.

Well, yeah. Review and I'll tape Matt, Mello and Near doing stuff and I'll send it to you okay? Thanks.

**HAPPY NEW YEARS!**

~Silver


End file.
